Random Thoughts, Uncategorized

Kau Sexy Kau Patut Kena Raped

The internet is hyped about the return of the serial rapist Selva Kumar. Now if you don’t know who this man is, click on his name.

What’s interesting about his return doesn’t revolve around the actual rapist, but around the society that he’s come home to. Many people jeer his presence and request for him to not be accepted in the country, while there are some who support his return in hopes that he’d ‘educate’ women by raping them – because women dress too sexily – hence fall victim to rapists.

To note some examples, I will link you to Twitter accounts who support this man’s return. Now, besides supporting the idea of welcoming home a SERIAL rapist, these men (who shamefully are Malays, Muslims and Islam), have made claims that because  women dress to scantily, they deserved to be raped. One Twitter account suggests that men CANNOT control their urges (or nafsu) hence, a raping spree is unavoidable. How pathetic can men be? And we blame women for our sickening nature? *clapclapclap*

If I were parents to these sick kids, especially if I’m a mother to them, I’d be deeply troubled and ashamed. These kids are the future and if they’re part of the future, our future seems bleak.


Kau paham tak sekarang, masalahnya, fucktards ni cakap kau pakai sexy, kau memang patut dirogol. Bodoh tak argument tu? Dah tu bebudak bawah umur yang didera, di-molest, dirogol, dibunuh tu macam mana pulak? Sexy ke bebudak bawah umur tu? 

Nah, read some:

1. 3000 rape cases in Malaysia

2. Girls falling victim to sexual predators

3. High Rape Cases in Malaysia

These are only some of the many links on rape cases in Malaysia. There’re more cases out there, some maybe left unreported by the victims for fear of their lives, or even worst, being mocked and judged by society.

Our society is getting sicker. What irks me most is that these people shallowly link religious commandments which instruct women to cover themselves while at the same time, blinding their eyes towards ayat Quran which states that men should control their gaze and nafsu as well. The Quran states that men should protect the women, but look what society has turned itself into.

Now, we need Sex Education more than ever. Sex Education is NOT ABOUT TEACHING PEOPLE ON WAYS TO DO SEX (THAT’S KARMASUTRA), but Sex Ed is about raising awareness on issues pertaining to sexual matters which include health, awareness, contraceptives, STDs etc. Here’s a link to Singapore’s Sex Ed scope.

I’m a small fish in a big world, heck we’re all small fishes but please, don’t be shallow minded and become assholes on the internet. Your arguments are invalid and will forever be invalid.

p.s: Don’t be an idiot and an asshole.


2015. 2016…

As I am writing this, I am alone in my room and there is about 4 more hours to the New Year. Last year, I spent my New Year’s eve with my close friends, watching a movie and playing our very own UNO game and laughed like crazy. It’s been a crazy ride, 2015. I call 2015 as a year of change.

In the middle of December 2014, I made a move to quit this stupid job I had when I was in Shah Alam. I did it, not knowing whether I would be accepted for a job that I went for an interview a month before. I just wanted to quit because I simply was not happy there. So I did – and it is one of the best decisions that I have ever made it in my entire life.

I started 2015 being jobless – but happy. I spent my days sleeping and at night, I would stay up and play DotA with my friends. Sometimes, we’d go for very long hangouts and play cards. But it was fun being jobless during that time. I was so free to do anything I wanted and it was fulfilling.

I stayed jobless until end of February. In March, I started my new job at UNIMAS. I never actually wanted to teach, but the job is good because it provides me with stability, and the pay is good too. The downside is, it’s all the way in Kuching, and my friends were all the way in Shah Alam. But I made the decision to go, because I thought it was the right thing to do at that time – and indeed it is.

Broke up in March too. Been wanting to do it, but I was too chicken to do so. So the job came, and plus the distance thing, was the “reason” why I wanted to break up but deep down, I knew that my partner’s cheating ways was just too much for me to handle and to forgive, well let’s just say I have done that way too many times.

Why I call 2015 as a year of change it’s mainly because of my decisions to move back to Kuching and start my job as a Language Teacher. I have never been so challenged in a job before and my current position allows me to be flexible with my time and, like I said, challenged. There’s so much to learn (and I have got a long way to go) with this job that everyday I discover new things. And I have to learn, and I have to adapt very quickly. That’s the challenge and I kinda like it.

I got my own car in July (which I am very thankful for). Having my own car gives me a different kind of freedom which I have never felt and it feels great.

I tell myself everyday that God would have His reasons to put me where I am right now and as I breathe, I am still uncovering His plans for me.

But whatever His plans are for me now, they’ve been really life-changing. At the end of each day, I would just look up to the ceiling and just smile at the things that I had gone through throughout 2015. It’s been a roller-coaster, and a wild one at that.

I hope 2016 will be more of a stable year for me. Change is good, but too much of it can drive you crazy. I know.

For now, goodbye 2015 and hello 2016!


What to Write About?

I turned 25 yesterday. Nothing special happened. I was in a meeting for half a day. Then I went out having sushi with my colleagues. Then I went home and had a small celebration with my family. And that was it. That was how my 25th year began – normal and dull. But hey, I’m 25.

It’s crazy how hectic life has been these past few months. I am beginning to feel older and I feel like there’s too little time for anything. But life has been dull, that much I can say. I’m still sorta waiting for the day when I can just pack my bags and be gone for a week – to somewhere nice. But I don’t know why I am restricting myself. Well, probably because of money. Yeah, gotta wait for the right time for that.

Anyways, I think I need to be more creative. I miss writing stories and sappy poems. That was my forte back then. I think I’m losing the touch and it’s time for me to revive the sappiness in me. I feel like I’m becoming more heartless, which is not so good. Sappiness brings out the creativity in me. Someone has asked me to write a novel. Maybe I should? I don’t know. It’s a good challenge for me I think. It’d be nice to get something published – by me.

What to write about though?


The Chase.

There are things in life that you are never meant to have. For example, a guy you have been calling and texting non-stop, and yet he has not replied to even a single one of your desperate calls for attention. And yet late at night, you still dwell on the endless possibilities: Maybe his phone is not working, maybe he is busy, maybe is with someone else?

And yet late at night, you still crave for his love and his attention. You don’t want much. You just want to hear the phone ring and when you see the screen, his name appears. You don’t want much. You just want a text from him apologizing to you for being such an asshole. You don’t want much. You just want to spend time with him, talking about random things and getting to know each other. You don’t want much. You just want him – all of him.

But he acts as if you don’t exist. He acts as if you don’t matter and yet you go through all the heartache for him because you really, really, really want him. Why though, why? Maybe it’s time for you to stop – just, stop. Stop hoping, stop chasing. Just, stop. Haven’t you heard what people have been saying? If he loves you, he will come to you. Just, stop. You don’t need him – and he certainly doesn’t need you.

Go and try to fall in love with someone else. It is a process, I know – having to pick yourself up and mending the broken pieces again – but this is not the first time. You’ve done it before, you can surely do it again. Trust me, you will be fine. Yes, the longings and the cravings for him will still be there; that’s totally normal. But eventually, you’ll learn to forget about him – everything about him.

You will. Just give yourself some time. But don’t dwell too much. Open up your heart for other options. They will come. Be patient. If things are meant to be, they will happen. For now, just learn to walk away. It’s time for others to chase you, instead of you chasing them.

p.s: Miracles sometimes do not exist.


An Open Letter to English Teachers

Dear English Teachers,

Something is bothering me. Something really disturbing is bothering me. It’s a huge matter in fact, and that is why it’s bothering me. I should just cut to the chase.


I see it almost all the time now. Your statuses, your captions, your comments – THEY ARE ALL FULL OF OBVIOUS GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AND MISTAKES! It’s fine (but in actuality it’s not) if people cannot detect them, but it will be damning if people without an English or B.Ed TESL degree can spot your errors and mistakes. Doesn’t it bother you when people correct your grammar instead of you correcting them? You’re the English teacher or expert or whatever, shouldn’t you be correcting their errors and mistakes?

Please teachers, please. Just make sure that you are teaching your kids the right things. And yes, it does not matter if you are teaching at the most rural of places and you if you are thinking,

“Heh, the kids wouldn’t know or wouldn’t care or wouldn’t be bothered if I make grammatical errors in class.”

No, it’s not about that. It’s about RESPONSIBILITY, it’s about ACCOUNTABILITY and it’s about EDUCATING those kids. If those kids do not know, do not care or aren’t bothered, then it’s your job to make them know, make them care and delight them with the wonders of English. 

It bothers me a lot that you are teaching kids when clearly you are really not qualified to do so. When you commit such OBVIOUS errors online (and in public), people will start to question the kind of education you received and people will start pointing fingers. Heck, if I had kids and you were teaching them, I’d pull my kids out of the class if I could. Remember the classes we had – the ones where we discussed about incompetent English teachers – please don’t end up like those teachers. Please, I beg of you.

Please, help your kids. Fix yourself first. It’s not only your students’ responsibility to learn, it is yours too. It is your responsibility to help these kids with their English. You are carrying a huge responsibility on your shoulders. Everyone is counting on you to make the society better. If the kids do not practice what you have preached in class, then it’s their own responsibility. And yes, we can only do so much in the classrooms, but if you can inspire one kid to speak better, write better, read better, and listen better, then you are fulfilling your responsibility.

I know teaching is not easy, but try. If the kids are learning, you should too. It is your job to make sure that they are learning the right things and not the wrong stuff. Don’t fossilize their errors. Plus, this post is not about teaching per se, it’s more about asking you to fix your grammar because it is seriously bothering and worrying me at the same time.

So please, please, please, fix your grammar. At least please, don’t teach them, “congrates” or “a simple things” or “freezed” or “equipments”.

p.s: It’s time to brush up on our knowledge.


You Gotta Have Faith

Sometimes I look back at my life and wonder what God has in store for me. Lately, my job’s been stressing me out. My job is not normal. It’s not the 9-5 kinda job, and I do not have a specific scope of things for me to do for now. Everything’s chaotic and everything’s unstable. I hate the fact that it is unstable. 

Here’s the thing though:

About a year ago, I had this grand idea of opening a publishing company with my friends. I even told future employers at that time when I was being interviewed:

Interviewer: What do you see yourself doing in the next 5-10 years?

Me: I would like to open my own publishing house.

I kept going on and on about the idea but I didn’t really take it seriously because I had other goals to achieve first. Fast forward into the present and BAM! I’m working with my friends in a publishing company which is practically being run by us. Sounds like a dream come true for a 23 year old whose goal was to have his own publishing house; but that’s not the case here. Things are unstable and I don’t know if they’ll be stable in the next few months. A friend of mine seems to think that we WILL get to the stable plateau and finally get the publishing company up and running again. With such faith and drive, I couldn’t help but get infected by the motivation she has to make things work for every single one of us. 

It’s great to have a person such as her – one who has passion and motivation to succeed – to spearhead us into something that could be worth something in the future. It’s not like I am not as motivated nor passionate, it’s just that I am quite negative at the state we’re in. But with her around, things seem to be better. We’re moving forward every day and it’s great really. It’s not smooth sailing all the way I can tell you that. We had to move, and find a new place, we have to make executive decisions, we have to work like dogs for meager pay and for what? For an uncertain future – for something that has a 50-50 chance of either becoming successful or something that would fail.

I guess I should have as much faith as she does in the company because having faith is important especially when you’re dealing with something that is both demoralizing and tough. I should be working harder to make things work instead of becoming the individual who sinks everything into the ground. I should just try to hold on just a little bit more. This upcoming months will be the “make it or break it” moments. I’m holding on to that glimmer of hope in my head that keeps on chanting: “What if it works out?” and then another voice would echo a different scenario: “What if it doesn’t work out?”.

Honestly, both scenarios scare me. 




I Love (Malay) T.V Series

Why do we obsess on stories of love between a rich person and a poor one? (Malay) dramas that you watch on t.v. usually play on the theme of “kampung girl” marrying an upscale playboy turned goody-goody two shoes when he meets her at an office where she happens to be working for him. The recipe has always been the same for most (Malay) dramas:

Poor girl goes into the city to find a job. She finds a job and the boss of the company happens to be an attractive 20++ something guy who had just gotten promoted to become a CEO of the company because the father (or mother, or both) says he could. Guy treats girl badly at first but slowly he realizes what a helpless, patient, kind, lovely, and innocent girl she really is and he starts to develop feelings for her. But wait! The guy of course has a bitchy ass of a girlfriend who’d do anything to show off how lucky she is to have a guy like him. Bitchy girlfriend finds out that the boyfriend has a little somethin’ somethin’ with the helpless and pathetic poor girl that the bitchy girlfriend torments the pathetic poor girl. Instead of playing on the feminist card where both girls could just play games with the guy in question, the writers choose to go for a more “conventional” story line; merely to satisfy the audiences’ taste of course. Complications, yada, yada, yada. Guy and poor girl gets married and she lives fabulously happy in a glorious estate with a husband who could be cheating on her with another, younger girl once he gets his “Datuk-ship” or “Tan Sri-ship”. But that’s another story.

Or nowadays, the most prized and typical story line goes something like this: Girl marries rapist and rapist turns out to be sweet, rich, handsome and perfect so they end up living happily ever after. Don’t get me started on this one. Who thinks of a story about a woman finally being happily married with her rapist? It is o.k that a woman marries her rapist, just as long as he’s sweet, rich and handsome like Aaron Aziz. HOW MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE THIS? WHERE DO WRITERS GET SUCH AN IDEA?! 

We have been exposed with the idea that the best love story involves a rich individual with a poor individual for so long that I guess it’s hard to do a story about a poor guy and poor girl getting married and having children together and actually being happy about it. Cinderella ring any bells in your head? Sure, they are people who end up marrying someone rich, but how many of us actually do?

Can’t dramas show a little more truth in their story? Love doesn’t exist between the rich only. Can’t you just show a story about a small time reporter marrying a teacher and they live happily ever after, even if their budget’s a little too tight every month? Can you stop showing stories about “datuks and datins”, victims falling in love with their rapists, helpless girl falling for rich guy, or about people living in huge ass mansions, or about poor girl who looks like she’s been to a salon the first day she’s out in the city, or about a handsome guy falling for a gorgeous girl, or about rich, gorgeous people falling for poor, pathetic characters who seem to have no back bone and all they can do is be nice because that’s what their one-dimensional characters are supposed to do? Not all of us live that way – unfortunately. 

I don’t want to blame the writers 100% for the kind of dramas we have on t.v. right now. I think the director and audiences play a crucial role too. I mean, even if you have written this really sweet, touching and true story about love, but if people do not like it, why bother writing about it in the first place? It is all about mentality. And this mentality has to stop. 

I know all of us dream of being rich, or being married to someone rich but that does not have to be translated on every single drama we have on television. Feed us with something more realistic, tangible, something that we all can relate to. Love comes in many forms and it happens to people from all walks of life. Why not show those kind of love stories instead? 

But I guess people love the typical things you know. People love the idea of being married to someone rich and living the perfect life with no worries in the world. Who wouldn’t want to live that way? I certainly would love to – but that’s a different story. What I am trying to say is that I wish (Malay) t.v. series or dramas or Samarinda or whatever you want to call it, I wish they play a more realistic story of love. 

But this is just me. Who cares what I think? Pfft.